I grew up differently...

I hate Christmas !!!

I hate my family !!!

I am not as fortunate as those people who shares happy moments with their family during Christmas, because i have fucked up parents.
Christmas never actually mean something to me, it has never been because I am brought up that way.

When I was a kid, Christmas was about Santa Claus, presents, and there'll be snow in the States. Now, I've learned and understand more about Christmas, but when I started knowing more of it, it made me feel worse because I tried to adapt my self into it and that made me realized that I don't belong to this Christmas thing.
It is not that I refuse to enjoy Christmas. I never celebrated Christmas at home, nor I have received anything from my parents with words like "Merry Christmas to you son".

People talks about how great is Christmas and what they receive as Christmas gifts, that makes me feel even worse because i cant feel the happiness they are getting from Christmas..

They had nice dinner with their family & relatives, I had food which was reheated from the refrigerator all alone at home..

As if like my parents were dead, or i live some where far away alone..
So what ?! They don't even care..

I am not supposed to let this out of me, but who cares if this is embarrassing..I wont care, because I'm accepting the fact that my LIFE SUCKS !!! and this makes me feel better.

They have ruined my life since I was a kid, bad memories from the past are stucked in my mind.
Seriously, only people who's been in my shoe knows exactly how I am feeling now..
People out there who lives a better life than me, please appreciate it.